Sunday, December 26, 2010

Post Haste

Well, that's done then for another year.  A lot of fuss & over so quickly.  I'm no scrooge however.  Usually I do love Christmas.  It means family (and I love my family), food & drink & pressies.  I may give a quick thought to peace on earth etc. but I'm not a follower of the bible & wish for peace on earth all year long.

This year was the third only, in the history of my family that we were not all together.  We've been spread out over the country & the globe before & managed to get together but not this year.  It's cool though, the first one was hard but I've got it now.


I did host a Xmas day breakfast though for a few friends & I believe they were all suitably sated.  Now to the point of this post...I've been holding onto some pics as they were for a Chrissie present for someone, a custom order, but now it's a done deal, I can share some more behind the scene pics from the recent photo shoot.
100%cotton hand dyed & painted by Shirley Fracture C.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Part 2

The second installment. It's a short story of just a day in the life of one accident prone woman who loves to shop.

'Shirley Fracture' cont.

Then nurses gave her a sedative shot  to calm her down.   The needle broke off in her vein, Shirley fainted.
Hours later, she was released from hospital.  Still somewhat anaesthetised, Shirley stumbles into the club.  There was a woman with a broken ankle.  Plaster foot wet, propped on a green velvet cushion.  Large woman rolling in jewels & skin.  People fell over each other to do things for her.  Then the boy with the broken leg.  Angel face.  Trapped by a woman who'd hidden his crutches.  She petted his plaster appendage then sat on his lap & squirmed.

All around Shirley could hear breaking.  Hear bones snap.  Shirley sat, the band played.  Friend sat beside her.  Elbow sharp jabbed her in the ribs until one broke.   Then she vomited in Shirley's pocket while mumbling something in Japanese.  You put up with a lot from friends.

The man with the broken heart was nowhere to be seen.  The heart breakers were there.  Tongues down throats all night.  A broken down diva wrapped in cobwebs sat in the spotlight & opened her legs wide so everyone could watch her cunt disintegrate. 

Shirley needed a break.  She found a quiet spot at the bar & devoured it.  She noticed the barman's bad   split ends.  They discussed conditioning.  It was becoming an intellectual evening.  When it became black, moonlight caught glass & chrome.  And as Shirleys' head smashed against the rickety wood bed head, silver skull fell from his ear.  She watched it twitching, spinning in the light & it smashed her in the teeth.  Now Shirley has a broken smile. 














































































Friday, December 17, 2010

Nervous Now

OK., as promised I shall tell you the story.  I thought it was a good idea & now I come to sit down to write, I'm a bit nervous 'cos I hope you all like it. XX


' Shirley Fracture' by Kathleen Dittmar

Shirley went shopping for something new.  Decided on a red & gold enamel coffee pot.  Took it home & from it's box.  Thought briefly about wasteful packaging.  Broken spout.  This always happened, two trips to the store for the same item.
 Shirley had a special outfit she wore for serious shopping.  Old blue air force uniform, wings on sleeves.  Black stockings & old black bata shoes from school.  Believing uniforms are respected, Shirley shopped with confidence.  She got caught once & was charged with the theft of a packet of dental floss.

Yes, Shirley shoplifted.  Thefts she'd got away with include a set of babushka dolls, a reversible cordless drill, gun powder scales, ten packets of instant noodles, a diamond ring & a sling shot. 
Items she stole were perfect.  Goods she paid for were faulty, always.  Shirley told people she was from a broken home.  This was one of the lies she used to excuse her criminal tendencies. 

Shirley arrived home from the second shopping  trip.  Housebreak in progress.  Intruders fled through the bathroom window.  She managed to catch a leg & bit it, breaking the skin.  She tasted blood.  It broke free.
Everywhere destruction.   Possessions smashed & broken.  But nothing taken. 

When the police had gone, Shirley realised she hadn't eaten that day.  Opened the fridge, it was empty.  All the food gone.  In it's place a pile of frozen faeces on the Royal Albert platter inherited from Great Aunt Shirl.  It had been a heavy day.  Shirley broke down & was taken to hospital by ambulance.

She could hear staff talking, laughing behind the curtain.  An accident victim lay there.  The nurses had discovered a salami in his jeans.  Shirley was  certain it was the salami stolen from her fridge.  Hysteria set in.  She insisted the police be called to question the accident victim about small goods. 

TO BE CONTINUED  I have a friend staying for dinner & the dog is harassing me for his dinner so must away for now.  I'll blog the rest of the story tomorrow & hope you are enjoying it thus far. XX
This photograph has nothing to do with the story but it's probably time I also shared, I am a massive Johnny Thunders fan.  I think the other in the photo is Richard Hell.

It's a Boy- newbies in progress.

Thought I would share with you some new designs I'm working on for the males amongst us, big & small. 
Of course the girls can have 'em to, Shirley doesn't like to leave anybody out.
O oh, talking in the third person again Shirley. XX




Sunday, December 12, 2010

Shirley Loves a Man In Tights

I always try & be organised.  I think I am but when it comes to it, I always feel unorganised.
Shirley had a well planned photo shoot yesterday- tights & leggings inside shoot & then to a well chosen location for the rest of the shoot.
The weather had other ideas so the whole thing was done in a smallish room that had to accommodate models, sets, photographer, hairdresser, an interested poodle, makeup & me running around trying to make it all work while keeping everyone hydrated , making sure there were snacks & styling the outfits.
With the light ever fading,  the whole operation moved onto my front deck.
People had to climb over each other, furniture& the dog. David, now finished with his modelling assignment, did a wonderful job of holding the light.  Daniel, ever diligent,  leaped in to adjust the hair.  Tracey & Cammie perched precariously on the railing did a brilliant job of not falling off.  Reuben, photographer extraordinaire, battling bad light & obstacles , clicked away for nearly four hours straight.

Needless to say I am extremely proud of them all & extremely grateful for their work.
It wasn't the most difficult shoot that ever there was  but it certainly wasn't the easiest & there was not one complaint or sour note from anyone.  Oh except maybe me who seemed to be the only one tripping over things & constantly misplacing my glasses.





When I remembered, I managed to take some candid shots behind the scenes to share with you.
Photographer- Reuben Warburton
Models- David Ryan, Cammie Nott, Tracey Warburton
Hair & Makeup- Daniel Kelly
A Shirley Fracture Couture Production

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Put Your Money Where Your Mouse Is

I'm a little concerned my first blog post sounds like a marketing ploy & guess what...it is.  I won't insult my readers intelligence by pretending differently & one thing you will always find here is honesty, whether what I have to say is popular or not. 
However, it is also more than that, much, much more.  It is what I am passionate about, what I do, love, believe & live. 
 So, that being said , it is the silly season & there is shopping to do.  
Why not support independent artists & businesses who have been working hard all year making or sourcing unique items that can't be found in every shopping centre.
Buy independent this holiday season & support the people behind the websites & facebook pages you follow/like instead of giving your money to big faceless corporations.
OK, OK, sure Suzie wants the latest computer game & little Jimmy needs the latest phone (based on real people) & that's fine but for the rest, please consider what I'm saying & refer to the title of this post.

Here's a list of some of my favourites( for differing reasons) for your consideration : Miz Smitten Kitten on EBay; Tattooed Zombie Accessories; My Little Rockabilly; Velvet Nightmare; The Zombie Boutique; Cute & Kooky Creations; Hungry Designs; Jubly-Umph & of course Shirley Fracture Couture.


Red & Green - the colours of x-mas & also the colours of madness.
Gorgeous upcycled, hand dyed, painted & beaded 'Louis Louis' vintage slip dresses from Shirley Fracture Couture.
Special thanks to djr of Greenius.